Class Clowns

Photography by Chad Griffith

YRB gathered some of the freshest faces to hit the comedy stand-up scene, and we’re confident these will be the last comics standing.

Eugene Mirman

When did you decide you were funny?: Twenty-five minutes ago. I can’t believe you guys agreed so fast.

Pre-show ritual: A scotch and mumbling to myself.

What’s your shtick (angle of your act)?: I guess I’d say I blow people’s minds with observations from the future, but only about 10 minutes into the future. It’s why I always have this look on my face like I was just caught fucking the Zeitgeist.

Your comedic icon(s): Emo Philips and Lenny Bruce. Maybe Steve Martin too. Sorry I picked more than one. Am I running out of spa-

Erica Watson

When did you decide you were funny?: I think I’ve always been funny, but I didn’t decide to try to make money doing comedy until I moved to NYC from Chicago. I was broke, but because of my parents and morals, porn or prostitution was not an option. So I figured making people laugh is the next best thing to an orgasm, and it’s legal.

Pre-show ritual: I eat! Then I say a little prayer!

What’s your shtick (angle of your act)?: I’m a working class black kid, who went to private school. Well-educated, but still hood. I eat hot sauce on my collard greens, but I listen to Tchaikovsky and Bach, as well as 50 Cent. So I try not to be the stereotype of the “fat & sassy” black woman in my comedy, because my life is more complex than that.

Your comedic icon(s): I can’t name just one! Whoopi Goldberg, Chris Rock, Paul Mooney, Wanda Sykes and Sandra Burnhard are who I adore!

Morgan Murphy

When did you decide you were funny?: I hate this question. It’s the kind of question someone asks when they’re sitting next to you on an airplane and you’ve accidentally told them what you do for a living even though history has proven that never goes well. Then you have to spend the rest of the flight with your headphones on pretending to watch Burn Notice. What I’m saying is, instead of answering this question, I’m going to pretend I’m watching Burn Notice.

Pre-show ritual: Sometimes I’ll have a beer; sometimes I’ll sacrifice a goat. It depends on the venue. Whatever I do, I always top it off with plenty of shadow boxing, high-fiving myself and saying into a mirror, “If you mess up, nobody will love you.”

What’s your shtick (angle of your act)?: I used to tell one-liners. Now I talk about my life more. If I thought the one-liners were commercially unrewarding, I wasn’t prepared for how little I’d cash in with this whole “truth” thing. That being said, I feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be with stand-up. As for the future, I’m gonna try to ride the “up-and-comer” label for as long as I can by continuing to wear a backpack.

Your comedic icon(s): I don’t really think of comedy as having icons. Cher is an icon. I guess Richard Pryor is iconic (because he was a lot like Cher). I think Louis C.K. is probably the funniest comic working right now. Patton Oswalt consistently amazes me (plus he’s been supportive of me, so that’s nice). How many people am I allowed to name? What if I said I love Tig Notaro, and Norm Macdonald, and Dave Attell? Did I mention Cher already? Shit. Is this interview over?

Hannibal Buress

When did you decide you were funny?: I think everyone is funny as a kid. It’s not a firm decision you make, like when you buy a house or decide to pick the Nissan Altima over the Prius. I decided to start performing stand-up comedy when I was in my second year of college. I went to an open mic with some friends and it was something I decided to try also.

Pre-show ritual: Before shows on Mondays I would watch Wife Swap. That would get me hyped up and into the comedy mood. I don’t know what happened with that show now. I can’t really fit it into my comedy schedule. When he’s available, I have a high stakes dice game with former Atlanta Hawks point guard Mookie Blaylock.

What’s your shtick (angle of your act)?: The angle of my act is obtuse.

Your comedic icon(s): My favorite comedians that are working right now are Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle, Louis C.K. and Patrice O’Neal. I also enjoy people that aren’t your standard comedians but are funny in their own right, like Bill O’Reilly and that chick from Jersey Shore that said, “I’m the Kim Kardashian of Staten Island.”

12 Angry Mascots

Scott Rogowsky

When did you decide you were funny?: It was decided for me by General Norman Schwarzkopf

Pre-show ritual: Cursing myself under my breath, a little Facebooking

What’s your shtick (angle of your act)?: Meet the Parents meets Meet the Parents 2 meets Mr. Baseball

Your comedic icon(s): Pete Incaviglia

Neil Janowitz

When did you decide you were funny?: August 15, 1998 – the feeling passed quickly.

Pre-show ritual: Trying to think of innovative ways to sit on stage and at once appear awkward, make the audience uncomfortable and provide Scott with little to no support. Scott and I also bro-hug a lot.

What’s your shtick (angle of your act)?: Late night meets SNL meets hilarious viral videos meets The View meets Sportscenter commercials, but very hastily assembled.

Your comedic icon(s): Two parts early Steve Martin, two parts mid-career Steve Martin and the written parts of late-era Steve Martin.

Sara Schaefer

When did you decide you were funny?: It was in the middle of an interpretive dance to a Jars of Clay song at my Baptist church in the ninth grade. I’m pretty sure even Jesus was laughing at that.

Pre-show ritual: Look at myself in the mirror and say, “Who the fuck do you think you are?”

What’s your shtick (angle of your act)?:I talk about the stupid stuff I do, about how I so badly want to be cool, but I’m not. I think it’s called self-deprecation. I also have a lot of material about Megan Fox and how I’d like to bone her. Your comedic icon(s): If Madeline Kahn and Chris Rock had a baby, and The State was the nanny, that would be my icon.

Kumail Nanjiani

When did you decide you were funny?: I was 3 years old. Now I just need everyone else to decide I’m funny.

Pre-show ritual:I like to get to the venue using some form of transportation. If it’s very close, I will walk it. But I will DEFINITELY find my way to the venue.

What’s your shtick (angle of your act)?: Stuff that I feel really passionate about. So, movies and video games. I’m like a truth teller political comedian, but for video games.

Your comedic icon(s): Woody Allen, Jerry Seinfeld, Larry David and Zach Galifianakis

Michelle Collins

When did you decide you were funny?:Probably around 5 years old, during my stint as a kindergartner at Temple Menorah (actual name for a fake temple). It was our Hanukkah production, and due to my giant-ness, I was cast as the coveted “shamash,” or big middle candle. While all the other children stared at their feet, I gave a rousing production of “Oh Hanukkah” in the style of Shirley Bassey, then refused to stop curtsying once the song was over. I booked Carson three days later. Daly. (Johnny was dead.)

Pre-show ritual: Watching Last Comic Standing while giving oral to a gun barrel.

What’s your shtick (angle of your act)?:Stories blended with quickfire references. Sometimes singing like an old dead black ghost (you will weep). Picture the end of Amadeus starring a charming pair of autistic Siamese twins, and that is literally my act.

Your comedic icon(s): Joan Rivers and the entire nation of England.